before (after) the storm

I used to wish people would scatter at my presence, fear my arrival, evacuate right before my eyes at the sight of my dynamites, my explosives, my resolve. I used to loathe those people that always stayed behind, the ones that wouldn't retreat, wouldn't leave, no matter what deluge of force I would rain upon them. I used to scoff at the mention of the 10th Vongola, sneer at his name and his incapabilities.

I used to do a lot of things, be a lot of things - until now. Instead of glowering with excitement at my explosions, my strength, I see everything differently now. This storm brewing inside of me, this fear turned into formidability, I've dedicated it all, devoted it all, to the 10th.

It's still the same math equation solving, reaching, for the same answer. Just, I've changed the numbers; I've changed the process.


Nine years and nine months. That's how long it's been since I last questioned the 10th's decision, his power, his ability. In nine years, too much can change; compared to before, our path has differed, the old evolved into the new - we weren't kids anymore.

Byakuran was closing in now, within weeks, he had taken down everything Tsuna had wanted to stand up for, everything I had wanted Tsuna to uphold.

The boss was humble, modest, strong in every sense of the word. But, Byakuran wasn't - perhaps that was the problem. Byakuran - it hurt for me to say his name - wasn't strong like the 10th, probably couldn't even measure up, but he was more twisted than Mukuro, more skewed in moral than moral could possibly be skewed.

I begged him; I pleaded him. I practically threw myself down to my knees, and then my elbows, and then my head. Contact after contact against the floor, I begged, the thumping of my head against the floor board a worthy sacrifice if I would succeed.

But, the boss was humble, modest, and strong in every sense of the term.

"I can't just sit around and watch him destroy us one by one!" He shouted back, reluctantly at first, but his voice grew as my desperation grew. "This is the only chance, Gokudera. He's giving us a chance."

"Just let me at him, 10th!" I yelled back, still kneeling on the floor. I had realized long ago that my pleads wouldn't effect the 10th; it just never hurt to try. "Let me blow that bastard to pieces!"

"It's my responsibility." He continued, eyes calm. Lately, I wasn't able to catch that glimpse of the old Tsuna, the 'no-good Tsuna' reflected in his expression. "I'm the one that destroyed the rings. I'm the one Byakuran's after."

"That doesn't mean you can't freakin' bring us along! Let Yamamoto and me take care of him, please." My voice cracked at the last words. That was it, my cover had been blown.

"No. You wait here." Tsuna raised himself up from his chair, and strides over to me. He placed his hand on my arm, a gesture for me to get the hell up already. "I'll be back in no time, and then we can - "

"Hell no!" I knocked his grip off my arm, striking him across the chest as I did so. I couldn't even fathom what I was doing - rebelling against the 10th. It was like a complete violation of my sacred scripture, a complete betrayal. "I'm going."

Tsuna stared at me blankly for the next passing seconds; whether looking through me or impaling me with the glare, I had no idea. His head drooped just slightly, not enough for anyone but a guardian to worry about, and then the old smile of his spreaded across his face.

"You worry too much, Gokudera!" He lifted his head, reassurance in the facade he had decided to place up before me. With a pat on my back, he exits the room, uncertainty and frustration obviously effecting his steps, his pace.

There was nothing to do except wait for the impact, the damage to be done. One can't measure the potential threat of any event until it has landed, until foundations had been blown away and expectations torn down.

Like the rational function, I could wait as long as I wanted for the curve to reach the bases of the graph, the x-axis and the y-axis, but no matter how long, I would never know. I would never find out until it was all too late - and infinity was the limit of my delay.

The equation had been set in stone, ascertained for its purpose, but perhaps I had plugged in the wrong numbers to solve for it?


I followed him. Against his orders, I followed him. I had followed his every step until now, so why stop when the 10th was in need?

Sistema C.A.I. wasn't complete yet; the fact of it nagged and nagged and nagged my mind as I trailed Tsuna's footsteps, each perilous advancement lessening the distance between us and Byakuran.


NOT DONE.