My life is strange, because sometimes I'll find myself wanting to write something - and I don't mean some passing thought, what I really mean is a story, a real real story full of tendons and ligaments and muscles - and I just won't do it. I will just sit there contemplating the fact and the desire and never really write a story.

Sometimes I wonder why not. Why not write something? You have a lot of time to lose, and this fact is true and undeniable, but isn't this like economics? "There is no such thing as a free lunch," and Mr. Clark, I completely agree.

In full analysis, I really have nothing to lose from writing something once in a while. I can invest in creativity, practice writing and writing stories and writing anything other tiny story that comes to mind so that the next time I write, I won't be so redundant. How can I expect to specialize in writing, or, in other words, truly get good at it if I don't invest in writing now?

I understand I can't compare my life to a productions possibilities curve in ceteris perebis - after all, I am much more complex and fickle. However, the opportunity cost is worth it. I am simply giving up some lingering on gchat, maybe losing some reading on livejournal stories and that's really about it. My bad grammar is really a testament to how much I don't understand why I don't just write.

And when it comes down to it, the irony really hits hard. I can spend hours probably, going in circles about why I can't write a great story instead of seriously doing what I need or should be doing: writing a story. Perhaps I am self conscious - so self-conscious that I feel ashamed to write.

To such a revelation I can only say - suck it up, get over it you big sissy. Start writing.